Steve Jobs Gives Me A Free Bumper

I went to pick up the mail this morning and found I had a package. Hello what do we have here...? Mail from Apple! Seems they sent me my free bumper for my Iphone 4. “What? Apple gave away something for free????”

Yea! It’s not just me either any person who purchased an Iphone 4 before July 23rd is entitled to a free Iphone 4 bumper costing £25. Now before you think Apple might have rewarded their dedicated fan base. Of course it’s because of the antenna issue...

If you didn’t already know the Iphone 4 has this steel band around it which is split into 2 parts. The left side is dedicated to Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS. While the right is UMTS and GSM quite an ingenious idea as it gives better mobile coverage.

However because the steel band is exposed, the moment you hold the phone with your left hand you cause it short circuit. In effect, what this means is you start losing your signal around 18 to 24 decibels to be exact. It’s at this point the whole internet lost its God dam mind!

“What? I can’t use my Iphone with my exposed hand! This is total Bull Sh*% Apple I hope you die!!! “

“Will I lose my connection if I dial 999? I just cut off my hand in an attempt to not hold the phone but I can’t even pick it up now please help!?!”

“How could you do this to me Apple I would have died for you :’(”

“Screw you Apple! I’m buying a Blue-Berry!!!”

“This is the worst thing to happen to Apple since Microsoft!…”

“The Death Grip will kill us all!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!”

I myself was just about to get ready to hang myself outside the Apple store in Oxford Circus… That’s when some genius on the internet came up with a solution!... The problem was the price of the solution… £0.001p!

Who da thunk it? A small piece of scotch tape placed in a strategic place fixed the issue completely!!! No more decibel drop outs in fact using any case that covered the steel bumper stopped you from losing any signal. LuckyLabs.com even came up with cool decals you could stick on the entire bumper that looked just like the steel band on the phone. The internet could finally rest easy, no?……….. “Fuck That!!! I’m not paying £0.001p”

If anything the solution only made people more angry? As they started requesting for a total recall on the product to remedy the situation. The real battle however was going on at the Apple H.Q. as Steve Jobs was about to kill every Apple employee who designed the antenna.

Now I don’t want to seem like I’m defending Apple because I find that elitist Apple fanboys to be quite pretentious. Apple has always prided themselves on creating software that doesn’t crash and high quality hardware that lasts. To expect them to not make a mistake once in a while even though you’re paying a premium price for their products is a little unfair.

At the same time this whole antenna issue has been blown out of proportion. It’s really not a big deal the whole phone is made of glass which could easily slip out your hand so not putting it in a case that protects it seems ridiculous, to me at least. If you’re that upset about it you can always return the phone!

Truth is no one wants to return the phone it’s the best phone out there! The screen is gorgeous. And it runs on the same Apple A4 chip as the Ipad. And I haven’t found one application that is slow to load yet. As someone who loves design I really like the look and feel of the phone. How many phones do you know that aren’t made of plastic? It’s a quality product with a good battery life also! It’s just a shame that its form didn’t follow its function.