I
am disappointed and ashamed of each and everyone of you so called
"Social Network Friend's." Too busy reporting on what you thought
held sway or was some how significant. Yeah.. Right! You all failed to
mention last month probably the most important, most momentous and most monumental
of all events! A contest and trial that goes beyond any OTHER!!!!
I am of course referring to the "Mazayen Al-Ibl" a week-long competition, where all the fair camels in the Arab world, gather in Saudia Arabia to be pit against one another in a pure battle of... not stamina, not speed... but beauty.
I am of course referring to the "Mazayen Al-Ibl" a week-long competition, where all the fair camels in the Arab world, gather in Saudia Arabia to be pit against one another in a pure battle of... not stamina, not speed... but beauty.
The camel voted most beautiful can reportedly fetch as high as 1,000,000+ Saudi Riyals. But how does one distinguish between an attractive camel and a not so attractive one? Well, I will let Sultan Al-Qahtani, one of the organisers of the event (as reported here), answer. When asked about this he said: "the nose should be long and droop down, that's more beautiful". But that's not all, "the ears should stand back and the neck should be long. The hump should be high but slightly to the back."
It's weird because those are the exact features I look for in a woman...
Some female camels in the competition are reportedly forced to wear harnesses around their "privates" (a camel chastity belt if you will) in order to counter the many attempts from male camels to mount them. Now ladies, before you brandish these male camels as disgusting perverts! I’ve personally got a lot of respect for these guys. (I do?)
To be fair, these male camels were probably used to months of lonely travel in the deserts and thus never saw female camels before, (because they were back home cooking stuff and cleaning, of course) let alone a high concentration of 'beautiful' ones in such a small space at the same time.
Fade In
There you are suddenly staring at the Jessica Alba of the camel world, shaking those humps like she knows how to use them. She winks at you with those 4 inch eye lashes, your heart skips a beat. You're frothing at the mouth, (no seriously camels froth at the mouth when aroused) testosterone is being pumped throughout your entire body and without logic or reason YOU know exactly, what you have to do! Ohhhh Yeah!!!
There you are suddenly staring at the Jessica Alba of the camel world, shaking those humps like she knows how to use them. She winks at you with those 4 inch eye lashes, your heart skips a beat. You're frothing at the mouth, (no seriously camels froth at the mouth when aroused) testosterone is being pumped throughout your entire body and without logic or reason YOU know exactly, what you have to do! Ohhhh Yeah!!!
Engage in awkward small talk…
But THEN you know what you really have to
do! Alright!!!
Take her out for dinner a couple of times, try to initiate some semblance of romance and resort
to begging if all else fails.
Finally! After the Bow chikka bow wow!? Both camels are now more relaxed, smoking camel cigarettes… (ugh) The female camel is in deep remorse how she let this ugly mongrel of a camel violate her and the male camel explains he’s not looking for a long term camel relationship…
End Scene, Roll Credits.
Finally! After the Bow chikka bow wow!? Both camels are now more relaxed, smoking camel cigarettes… (ugh) The female camel is in deep remorse how she let this ugly mongrel of a camel violate her and the male camel explains he’s not looking for a long term camel relationship…
End Scene, Roll Credits.
“Well you'll never work in this town again but its still a better love story than..”
Oh come on!!!
Unfortunately all these camel orgies in the desert became a big problem for Oh… Say… Event organiser’s.. Judges.. The general public.. Small children… as people got tired of the imminent dangers of avoiding the thrusting advances of the ravenous lusting herds.
Oh come on!!!
Unfortunately all these camel orgies in the desert became a big problem for Oh… Say… Event organiser’s.. Judges.. The general public.. Small children… as people got tired of the imminent dangers of avoiding the thrusting advances of the ravenous lusting herds.
Compelled to find a solution the organisers of the
event created a "two strikes and you're out" mounting rule. In other
words, if the same camel tries to mount another camel twice then he will be
escorted away and disqualified. Losing not only a chance to compete but also
further mating privileges. This humiliation is the single greatest
shame a camel can experience.
So what is the message with all this?... Well errr... Camels are beautiful!? Love is beautiful! And we should all love a little more and hate a little less. So you should click the play button below and smile at this picture of two camels that just cant get enough of each other.
Much love, Mr Boydee ;)
So what is the message with all this?... Well errr... Camels are beautiful!? Love is beautiful! And we should all love a little more and hate a little less. So you should click the play button below and smile at this picture of two camels that just cant get enough of each other.
Much love, Mr Boydee ;)
